I've spent years now writing poetry
about the life that I have lived
of how the trauma has affected me
and the damage that it did
Now you may think from what you're reading
that my life was really bad
and indeed it was for many years
when I never could be sad
If the trauma isn't dealt with
and the feelings are not felt
then the icy hands around one's heart
are impossible to melt
There have been times throughout my life
when things happened and I'd smile
I looked like I was happy
I even fooled me for a while
But smiling doesn't mean I'm happy
and crying doesn't mean I'm sad
I did both these things to protect myself
all I ever felt was BAD
Now there are times when I'm connected
and a smile comes from my heart
and the tears come from the pain within
and I no longer live apart!!
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